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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
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O.J. Simpson Car Chase Hits 20th Anniversary

Today marks 20 years since the day that football star O.J. Simpson, who had been named as a suspect in the murder of his wife, led police on a low-speed highway chase as 95 million gathered around to watch live on television. What do you think?

  • “Aw, man. Our family never gathers around the television set anymore.”

    Peter Kelejian Orchard Manager
  • “Think about it: Would an innocent man just let himself get arrested?”

    Gabriel Quebodeoux Unemployed
  • “Thank God that era of shameless television voyeurism is over.”

    Megan Scranton Police Report Filer

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