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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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Oldest Human Poop Discovered In Spain

Archaeologists working at an ancient campsite in Alicante, Spain discovered a pile of poop left by Neanderthals 50,000 years ago, which revealed that they were not strict carnivores as previously believed, but also ate plant matter. What do you think?

  • “This is what passes as news? A revelatory glimpse at the diet of our earliest ancestors?”

    Chris Straley Form Processor
  • “Fecal matter at campsites? Thank God we evolved out of doing that.”

    Barry Conover Stationary Designer
  • “Are they going to put the poop in a museum so freaks like me can come see it or not?”

    Marie Westin Registrar

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