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Content From 2005-10-27

MLB Season In Review

Onion Sports takes a look back at the 2005 Major League Baseball season, highlighting the year's most memorable moments.

WNBA Draft To Double As Bachelorette Auction

NEW YORK—In order to stimulate interest in the WNBA and allow its fans to get to know the sport's rising stars in a more intimate setting, the 2006 player draft will double as a charity bachelorette auction, with all the proceeds going directly to the cash-strapped league.

Special X-Games End In Extreme Tragedy

LOS ANGELES—Event organizers and promoters are as yet unable to explain to the satisfaction of law-enforcement officials how Ricky Creston, a 10-year-old Down syndrome sufferer, was put in a position that lead to his death on Tuesday, the final day of events at the first-ever Special X-Games.

Greenspan Retiring

After 18 years of service, Alan Greenspan is retiring as chairman of the Federal Reserve at the age of 79. What do you think?

Bird Flu Preparations

As the threat of avian influenza looms, federal and state officials are preparing for a possible pandemic. What are they doing?

Fire Truck! Fire Truck! Fire Truck!

Look, out the window! A fire truck! I've seen drawings of fire trucks in my picture books, of course, but how could I have ever known how pale and insignificant those crude representations were in comparison to the real thing! Fire truck! Oh, great God in heaven, fire truck! This has got to be the most moving of mankind's creations, and perhaps of nature's, as well.

Bolivia Joins DOPEC

LA PAZ, BOLIVIA—The South American nation of Bolivia was inducted into the Development Organization of Powder-Exporting Countries Monday.

Puppy Dies Adorable Death

SOUTH BELOIT, IL—Three-month-old Lab-Dalmatian mix Smokey curled up into the sweetest little ball of fur you'd ever want to see and died of canine parvovirus in his owner's home Sunday.

Trick-Or-Treaters To Be Subject To Random Bag Searches

WASHINGTON, DC—Responding to "a possible threat of terror and fright," Department of Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff announced Monday that trick-or-treaters will be subject to random bag searches this Halloween season.

October 29, 1919

Gangsters Pass 18th Amendment: 'Lucky' Luciano Casts Deciding Vote To Make Alcohol Illegal

Personal Bankruptcy Laws

A new bankruptcy law went into effect last week, making it harder for consumers to clear their debts with Chapter 7 bankruptcy. What do you think?

Reading Incomprehension

Recent standardized-test scores show that, while American students' math scores are acceptable, their reading comprehension is unsatisfactory. What do you think?
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  • "As someone who has no problem with grown men earning hundreds of millions of dollars to play children's games for a living, I still hate sports agents."


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