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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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On Cowboys.com Being A Gay Dating Site

Five years after the Dallas Cowboys bungled a domain name auction and lost Cowboys.com to a group of investors, the site has resurfaced as a gay dating service for “cowboy[s] looking for a man to ride into the sunset with.” What do you think?

  • “Sure it’s a gay dating website, but it’s still the best place on the Internet to find quality information on the Dallas Cowboys.”

  • “No thanks. I prefer the guys on Bears.com.”

  • “To be fair, who could have foreseen in 2007 that the Internet would blow up like it did?”

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