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On David Beckham Requesting A Loan To A European Soccer Team:

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How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:
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On David Beckham Requesting A Loan To A European Soccer Team:

  • "What, you mean David Beckham? That doughnut shop guy?"

  • "This other team—they know he just sits on the bench and doesn't actually play anymore, right?"

  • "Sorry, but I promised myself I wouldn't think about soccer ever again."

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