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On India's First Olympic Individual Gold Medal:

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How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:
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On India's First Olympic Individual Gold Medal:

  • "Abhinav was shooting like the reincarnation of Tevarit Majchacheep!"

  • "Meanwhile in America, we're so apologetic for our gun users. Shame on us. Where is our Olympic spirit?"

  • "I guess it pays to be born into the 10m Air Rifle caste."

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