adBlockCheck

Sports

Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Born With Face You Just Want To Punch

In case you missed last night's premiere of the second season of "Onion News Network", watch Jean Anne Whorton's touching portrait of a man who was born with a god-awful, hateful face.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
End Of Section
  • More News

On Indy 500's Declining Popularity

  • "If only the sport had bet its future on an attractive and moderately talented woman becoming the next dominant racer. That surely would have saved them."

  • "The logo is just not cool enough. Have you seen the logo for the LifeLock.com 400? I've got a tattoo of it right here on my chest."

  • "You're telling me a sport that is dominated by foreigners and has a fan base of white, conservative middle-Americans is losing popularity? Huh."

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close