adBlockCheck

On Lance Armstrong’s Second-Place Triathlon Finish

Top Headlines

Sports

Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

On Lance Armstrong’s Second-Place Triathlon Finish

  • "I've been meaning to ask: Am I allowed to stop wearing this yellow bracelet yet?"

  • "They say he snubbed the winner at the finish line, but I've always thought of him as a gracious, humble competitor who loves using postage stamps."

  • "Fatass."

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close