On Lane Kiffin Leaving Tennessee For USC

In This Section

Vol 46 Issue 03

Air America Ceases Operations

As of Thursday, liberal radio network Air America stopped all live programming and announced it was filing for Chapter 7 bankruptcy. What do...

Lane Kiffin Leaves USC For Dream Job At GameStop

LOS ANGELES—During his introductory press conference as USC's new head coach last Wednesday, Lane Kiffin told reporters that he would be leaving the school indefinitely to pursue his dream of working at GameStop.

Good-Looking One Not Working Today

BROOKLYN, NY—Coffee shop patron Justin Burke was disappointed by the Good-Looking One's absence, and admitted that he initially mistook the One With The Slightly Off Face for the Good-Looking One, but quickly realized his error once she turned around.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Fun

  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

Advertising

  • Sports Drink Company Putting First Advertisement On Moon

    Japanese pharmaceutical company Otsuka has announced plans to put their sports drink Pocari Sweat on the moon in a specially equipped container bearing their logo, which, if successful, would be the first time a commercial product has been flown to the mo...

On Lane Kiffin Leaving Tennessee For USC

  • "These are sad times for Tennessee. The entire state has been playing 'Rocky Top' in a minor key."


  • "This works out great for USC, as their most important requirement for finding a coach was that he be a traitor."


  • "Wait, what happened? I thought Blake Kiffin was the guy who played for the Clippers."


Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More