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On NASCAR Suddenly Declining In Popularity

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Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
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On NASCAR Suddenly Declining In Popularity

  • "Really? Even though more money and advertising time has been pumped into stock car racing than ever? Well, all right! USA! USA! USA!"

  • "People must have figured out that they can watch the cars driving by their house for free."

  • "In possibly unrelated news, the national literacy rate is at an all-time high."

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