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Universe Crueler, More Uncaring Place Than Previously Thought

The universe, long known as a bleak and unforgiving place where essentially nothing matters, is in fact even crueler and more heartless than previously thought, according to a startling report published Tuesday by scientists at the Institute for Advanced ...
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On NASCAR Suddenly Declining In Popularity

  • "Really? Even though more money and advertising time has been pumped into stock car racing than ever? Well, all right! USA! USA! USA!"

  • "People must have figured out that they can watch the cars driving by their house for free."

  • "In possibly unrelated news, the national literacy rate is at an all-time high."

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