On Roger Clemens' Indictment

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Vol 46 Issue 34

AFC South

Jacksonville Jaguars Strength: With stalwart Aaron Kampman at defensive end, opponents will be forced to throw the ball at the Jaguar's weak secondary or run it through the soft middle of their line Weakness: Quarterback controversy between Luke McCown a...

AFC North

Now that the NFL season is upon us, staying informed is more important than ever. This in-depth Onion Sports guide places all the vital information about this years' teams at your fingertips. Don't watch a single game without this useful tool!

New WNBA Promotion Lets First 100 Fans Leave Early

NEW YORK—In an effort to increase attendance and reward the league's fans, WNBA president Donna Orender announced Wednesday that the first 100 ticket holders to arrive at the conference semifinal games would be allowed to leave extra early.
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On Roger Clemens' Indictment

  • "As a Yankees fan, I say good riddance now that he can't help us win a World Series anymore."


  • "Oh, yeah, I mean, he's 'The Rocket.' How can you not indict him into the Hall of Fame?"


  • "Just shows you that what goes around comes around after years of success, money, women, and being idolized by millions."


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