On Team USA Losing The Ryder Cup

Top Headlines


Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

On Team USA Losing The Ryder Cup

  • "Wow, soccer tournaments sure take a long time to finish, huh?"

  • "Failures lead to opportunities—opportunities like vandalizing Corey Pavin's lawn."

  • "If Team USA can't even win the Ryder Cup, then I shouldn't have to put on pants today. Right? Please, somebody agree with me."

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close