On Team USA Losing The Ryder Cup

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How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:
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On Team USA Losing The Ryder Cup

  • "Wow, soccer tournaments sure take a long time to finish, huh?"

  • "Failures lead to opportunities—opportunities like vandalizing Corey Pavin's lawn."

  • "If Team USA can't even win the Ryder Cup, then I shouldn't have to put on pants today. Right? Please, somebody agree with me."

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