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On The BCS Stripping USC Of Its 2004 Title

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Extreme Storms To Rip Through Godforsaken Midwestern Wasteland

The Onion Weather Center focuses on the Midwest, where a storm system should recede into the distance like any hope of a stable economic future; a tornado bears down on a podunk, backwater hick town; and field reporter Matt Jennings is live from God knows where.
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On The BCS Stripping USC Of Its 2004 Title

  • "Good thing the BCS has a time machine and can go back to when this would matter and people on that team would care."

  • "Cool, can I have their trophy?"

  • "In my mind, even before the ruling, it never happened. But that's just because I didn't watch the game and never asked who won."

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