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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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On The Marlins Firing Ozzie Guillen

The Miami Marlins fired manager Ozzie Guillen on Tuesday following a disappointing 69-93 season in which his team failed to live up to the hype of its new ballpark and All-Star-laden roster. What do you think?

  • “I’m sure he’s taking it with calmness and grace.”

  • “Seems a little harsh to fire your manager after just one 93-loss season in which he blows $191 million in salary and alienates a huge portion of your fan base.”

  • “Fortunately for Ozzie, there are a lot of GMs looking for narcissistic, homophobic, loudmouthed assholes to manage their baseball teams these days.”

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