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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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On The Marlins Firing Ozzie Guillen

The Miami Marlins fired manager Ozzie Guillen on Tuesday following a disappointing 69-93 season in which his team failed to live up to the hype of its new ballpark and All-Star-laden roster. What do you think?

  • “I’m sure he’s taking it with calmness and grace.”

  • “Seems a little harsh to fire your manager after just one 93-loss season in which he blows $191 million in salary and alienates a huge portion of your fan base.”

  • “Fortunately for Ozzie, there are a lot of GMs looking for narcissistic, homophobic, loudmouthed assholes to manage their baseball teams these days.”

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