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Friends Don’t Understand How Man Not Depressed

Citing factors such as his low-paying job, lack of foreseeable prospects, and modest living conditions, sources close to local resident Karl Brewster said Thursday they are at a loss to explain his day-to-day cheerfulness in the face of such a bleak exist...

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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On The Miami Heat's Win Streak Ending After 27 Games

LeBron James and the Miami Heat had their 27-game win streak—the second longest in NBA history—snapped Wednesday night after a 101-97 loss to the Chicago Bulls. What do you think?

  • “This is the best news to come out of Chicago since that night only four people were shot and killed.”

  • “This streak would still be alive if the Heat had run their offense through Juwan Howard like I’ve been saying since day one.”

  • “Looks like they’re only human assholes after all.”

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