adBlockCheck

Sports

Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
End Of Section
  • More News

On The Olympic Opening Ceremonies:

  • "America's totally gonna get the gold medal in Waving to Throngs! USA! USA!"

  • "Oh, now I understand the spirit and meaning of the Olympics!"

  • "Oh man, remember in 2004 when Seychelles marched in, and they were doing it all normal and then WHAM, they went into that choreographed little Macarena routine? How are they gonna top that?"

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close