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Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
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On The Packers' Disappointing Start

On the heels of a Super Bowl win two years ago and a 15-1 season last year, the Green Bay Packers take a disappointing 2-3 record into their week-six matchup against the unbeaten Houston Texans. What do you think?

  • “Yeah, it’s disappointing they don’t look as bad as that Super Bowl team from two years ago that started 3-3.”

  • “The Packers are just one solid running back, two defensive ends, three linebackers, two cornerbacks, one safety, one left tackle, one right tackle, and one left guard away from being a Super Bowl contender again.”

  • “It’s a shame that they’re in a league where no team could possibly come back from a slow start to win a championship.”

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