On The Packers' Disappointing Start

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Vol 48 Issue 42

Romney Blimp Makes Emergency Landing

While flying over Boca Raton, FL yesterday ahead of the final presidential debate, a blimp bearing the likeness of the Republican presidential nominee and the phrase “America Needs Romney” was forced by high winds to make an emergency landing.

The Onion Introduces: The Book Bjorn

Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, The Onion Book Of Known Knowledge is packed with valuable information--such as the life stage...

Chelsea Burns and Robert Jacobs

Chelsea Burns and Robert Jacobs were married at sunset Saturday on a picturesque Hawaiian beach inside Chelsea's head, while the rest of her body was at the actual ceremony near the seventh hole of the golf club Robert's dad belongs to.

Romney Stands Behind Ryan To Show Good Campaigning Stance

COLUMBUS, OH—In order to demonstrate proper campaign posture, Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney stood behind running mate Paul Ryan on Saturday and gently guided the younger man’s hips and elbows into an ideal speaking stance, source...
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On The Packers' Disappointing Start

On the heels of a Super Bowl win two years ago and a 15-1 season last year, the Green Bay Packers take a disappointing 2-3 record into their week-six matchup against the unbeaten Houston Texans. What do you think?

  • “Yeah, it’s disappointing they don’t look as bad as that Super Bowl team from two years ago that started 3-3.”


  • “The Packers are just one solid running back, two defensive ends, three linebackers, two cornerbacks, one safety, one left tackle, one right tackle, and one left guard away from being a Super Bowl contender again.”


  • “It’s a shame that they’re in a league where no team could possibly come back from a slow start to win a championship.”


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