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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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On The Ravens Losing Ray Lewis And Lardarius Webb To Injury

The AFC North–leading Baltimore Ravens were dealt a harsh blow Monday when defensive stars LB Ray Lewis (torn triceps) and CB Lardarius Webb (torn ACL) were ruled out for the rest of the season. What do you think?

  • “How can the league’s 26th-ranked defense ever recover from this?”

  • “This will only make the Ravens’ playoff run to the divisional round that much harder.”

  • “Yeah, but as far as I can tell from the way football is covered, the only player who makes an impact on a game is the quarterback.”

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