On The Sudden Wave Of Off-The-Field College Football Transgressions

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Vol 47 Issue 34

Terrelle Pryor

The Raiders acquired the controversy-ridden Ohio State quarterback in the NFL supplementary draft. Is he any good?

NFL Fans Looking Forward To Season Of Touchbacks

NEW YORK—The National Football League's decision to move kickoffs to the 35 yard line has football fans across the nation anticipating a 2011 season full of dramatic, tension-producing touchbacks, league sources report.

Novelist Has Whole Shitty World Plotted Out

GLOUCESTER, MA—As he neared completion this week on his latest novel, By The Water's Edge, author Edward Milligan marveled aloud to reporters how he was able to flesh out, in meticulous detail, every single corner of his book's vast and stunn...
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On The Sudden Wave Of Off-The-Field College Football Transgressions

  • "Still extremely profitable for the colleges? Yes? Okay."


  • "This is sports we’re talking about. People are always going to find ways to bend the rules and give 18-year-olds access to yachts and prostitutes."


  • "What? The whole reason kids become great athletes is so they can follow NCAA regulations."


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