On The Tigers Signing Prince Fielder

In This Section

Content From 2012-01-29

The Art Of Compromise

Never imagined you'd be 35, married with two kids, and working a job you can't stand in a town you once vowed to leave?

Piers Morgan: The Animated Adventure

ABC 9 a.m. EST/8 a.m. CST This Saturday morning, Piers sets out on a quest to find the most-talented person in all of Morgania before sitting down for a chatty, yet in-depth interview with cartoon Rob Lowe.

New Law Prohibits Kaleidoscoping While Driving

TRENTON, NJ— Citing the nearly 1,500 deaths that occurred in the United States last year as a result of kaleidoscoping while driving, New Jersey governor Chris Christie signed legislation Friday banning the practice.

Nation’s Least-Appealing Puppies To Face Off In Puppy Bowl

SILVER SPRING, MD—Calling the collection of puppies assembled for Puppy Bowl VIII a tired rehashing of the same old Jack Russells, pit mixes, collies, and labs, fans around the nations agreed this week that the 2012 contest would be one of the most ...

Internet Against SOPA, PIPA

Last week, several websites, including Google and Wikipedia, raised awareness of the prohibitive measures included in the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) and the Protect IP Act (PIPA). Here are some of the legislation's controversial provisions: 

Population Growth

"I'm just going to level with you—the earth's carrying capacity will no longer be able to keep up with population growth, and civilization will end unless large swaths of human beings are killed, so the question is: How do we want to do this?...

How Would You Like To Die?

Back to story: Scientists: 'Look, One-Third Of The Human Race Has To Die For Civilization To Be Sustainable, So How Do We Want To Do This?'

Project Runaway

Lifetime 10 p.m. EST/9 p.m. CST Fourteen-year-old Ashley Fennel is sick of letting her bitch foster mom boss her around and decides to take to the open road. Meanwhile, Jake returns after an unexplained two-week absence, but doesn't want to talk about it...
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Personal Finance

Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

On The Tigers Signing Prince Fielder

  • "I hope they play Cabrera at third so we can witness the athletic spectacle of fat guys throwing across the diamond to each other."


  • "Considering some thought the biggest threat in their division next season would be the Royals, I think they just may have a shot of making the playoffs."


  • "Seeing some fat twentysomething get a $214 million job should really help that city's unemployed feel better about themselves."


Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More