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On The Tragic Murder-Suicide Case Of Boxer Edwin Valero

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How The IOC Plans To Address Doping

In light of its recent decision not to bar Russian athletes from competing in Rio despite their use of performance-enhancing drugs, the International Olympic Committee is working to establish more effective protocols to keep the Games drug-free. Here are some ways the IOC plans to address doping:
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On The Tragic Murder-Suicide Case Of Boxer Edwin Valero

  • "Well, I was having a good day before you came along asking about boxers killing their wives and selves."

  • "That reminds me of the Nintendo game Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!, because I prefer to think about nice things."

  • "Sure makes me glad the NFL just donated a whole entire $1 million to brain research, ensuring athletes won't go crazy later in life. Just a matter of time before that's fixed, now."

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