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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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On The Tragic Murder-Suicide Case Of Boxer Edwin Valero

  • "Well, I was having a good day before you came along asking about boxers killing their wives and selves."

  • "That reminds me of the Nintendo game Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!, because I prefer to think about nice things."

  • "Sure makes me glad the NFL just donated a whole entire $1 million to brain research, ensuring athletes won't go crazy later in life. Just a matter of time before that's fixed, now."

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