On The Yankees clinching the division

In This Section

Vol 45 Issue 40

Reds Cut Magic Number To 17

CINCINNATI—Trailing the first-place Cardinals by only 15 games with less than a week to go in the regular season, the Cincinnati Reds cut their magic number down to 17 with a win over St. Louis Tuesday.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

Holiday

On The Yankees clinching the division

  • "Yeah, only after spending $423 million dollars. Actually, I'd pay that much for first place."


  • "My only consolation is knowing that A-Rod is still an asshole."


  • "It's a shame they had to stitch together all the available championship T-shirts for CC Sabathia."


Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More