On Titans Owner Bud Adams Being Fined For Flipping Off The Crowd:

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Vol 45 Issue 47

Nets Announce Team Is In Re-Demolition Mode

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ—In a continuing effort to destroy their roster and ultimately cause their team's collapse, Nets officials announced Monday that the franchise was entrenched in a long-term re-demolition process.

Several 2009 MLB Awards Clearly Thought Up On The Spot

NEW YORK—A number of players suggested to reporters Monday that, with accolades such as the AL Platinum Baseman Award and the Best Lead Off of the Year Trophy, the Baseball Writers' Association of America was almost certainly making up its year-end honors on the spot.
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On Titans Owner Bud Adams Being Fined For Flipping Off The Crowd:

  • "I'd have the exact same reaction to watching a Bills-Titans game."

  • "Looks to me like he was just having fun out there, which means he should be fined an extra $500,000."

  • "At the very least, you have to be happy that an 86-year-old man decided to go with flipping the bird and not whipping out his junk."

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