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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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One In 4 Mammals In Jeopardy

A new study shows that almost 25 percent of mammal species are in danger of going extinct. What do you think?
  • "Good riddance. Giving birth to live young is just so disgusting."

    Steven Frank Shoe Repairer
  • "If the worst happens, you can always get some day laborers to fill their ecological niche."

    Ryan Krutsch Roofer
  • "Don't worry. I've been raising some dogs and cats in captivity, just in case."

    Lora Mierendorf Weights and Measures Inspector
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