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Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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One in Five Scientists Use Brain Enhancing Drugs

One in five respondents to a poll conducted by the journal Nature said they had used drugs to boost their brain power. What do you think?
  • "The real danger here is the use of these drugs by aspiring scientists trying desperately to emulate their heroes and to secure their own fame and fortune."

    Ralph Liples Electrician
  • "I can't wait to see that smug fuck Albert Fert stripped of his Nobel."

    Cara McKay Pharmacist
  • "When will scientists learn that real progress comes from the heart, not from some test tube full of chemicals."

    Perry Kelly Cabinet Maker

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