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A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.
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One in Five Scientists Use Brain Enhancing Drugs

One in five respondents to a poll conducted by the journal Nature said they had used drugs to boost their brain power. What do you think?
  • "The real danger here is the use of these drugs by aspiring scientists trying desperately to emulate their heroes and to secure their own fame and fortune."

    Ralph Liples Electrician
  • "I can't wait to see that smug fuck Albert Fert stripped of his Nobel."

    Cara McKay Pharmacist
  • "When will scientists learn that real progress comes from the heart, not from some test tube full of chemicals."

    Perry Kelly Cabinet Maker
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