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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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One in Five Scientists Use Brain Enhancing Drugs

One in five respondents to a poll conducted by the journal Nature said they had used drugs to boost their brain power. What do you think?
  • "The real danger here is the use of these drugs by aspiring scientists trying desperately to emulate their heroes and to secure their own fame and fortune."

    Ralph Liples Electrician
  • "I can't wait to see that smug fuck Albert Fert stripped of his Nobel."

    Cara McKay Pharmacist
  • "When will scientists learn that real progress comes from the heart, not from some test tube full of chemicals."

    Perry Kelly Cabinet Maker

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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