Onion Continues To Touch Millions

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Content From 2011-06-21

Dressing Up For Going Out

It's always hard to decide what to wear when you're going out for the evening. Here are some ways to look your best for a night on the town:  

Preparing For Your Night Out

When gearing up for a fun night out with friends, there are a lot of factors to consider. Here are some things to keep in mind as you’re getting ready:

Dirk Nowitzki

 The Mavericks' 7-footer just shrugged off cries of "soft" and defeated the Heat's Big Three to pick up a championship trophy and a Finals MVP Award. Is he any good?

Nation's Dads Treated To Mark Knopfler Meet-And-Greet

CHICAGO—In what many were calling "the best Father's Day present ever," the nation's dads were treated to a Mark Knopfler meet-and-greet Thursday, spending several minutes chatting and posing for photos with the former Dire Straits frontma...

Slippery Slope

FOX News 9 p.m. EDT/8 p.m. CDT Contestants try to stay fair and balanced as they negotiate a treacherous obstacle course in which one wrong move leads to gay marriage and two inserts "under Allah" into the Pledge of Allegiance.

Partygoer Gets Thoughtful

LAFAYETTE, LA—At approximately 11:20 P.M. Friday night, the festive attitude of local partygoer Nathan Daniels, 34, suddenly gave way to a more thoughtful and introspective mood, witnesses reported.

How Powerhouse Teams Came Up Short

The factors in the collapse of the Heat's supposedly unstoppable Big Three will be analyzed for a long time, and as we've seen in the past, juggernauts disappoint for many reasons. 1980 Soviet national hockey team: Goal-rationing 1990 Mi...
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Onion Continues To Touch Millions

The Onion has touched countless lives over its 250 years of publication. What story has affected you the most?

  • "Since each one is better than the last, I'd have to say the final story in the most recent issue."

    Anthony Byrne
    Linter-Saw Sharpener
  • "It wasn't easy to read about the physics behind Princess Diana's death, but I'm glad I did it."

    Maya Griff
    Shank Taper
  • "Wow, that's like asking me to choose which of my children is my favorite. But if you twisted my arm, I'd have to say its penetrating critique of state-government cronyism, and my firstborn son, Kevin."

    Steve Mackey
    Unemployed
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