Onion Continues To Touch Millions

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Details Of Obama’s Climate Change Plan

President Obama unveiled Monday a plan to increase the country’s clean power usage that many are calling the strongest action ever taken by a U.S. president to combat the effects of climate change. Here are some key details of Obama’s climate change plan

Rescuers Heroically Help Beached Garbage Back Into Ocean

ATLANTIC BEACH, NC—In what many described as an inspiring display of selflessness and teamwork, a group of rescuers heroically saved a beached mound of garbage by helping the stranded trash back into the ocean, eyewitnesses reported Thursday.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • Father Apologizes For Taking Out Anger On Wrong Son

    ELIZABETH, NJ—Moments after losing his composure with an unwarranted emotional outburst, local father David Kessler reportedly apologized to his son Christopher Thursday for erroneously taking out his anger on him and not his older brother Peter.

Onion Continues To Touch Millions

The Onion has touched countless lives over its 250 years of publication. What story has affected you the most?

  • "Since each one is better than the last, I'd have to say the final story in the most recent issue."

    Anthony Byrne
    Linter-Saw Sharpener
  • "It wasn't easy to read about the physics behind Princess Diana's death, but I'm glad I did it."

    Maya Griff
    Shank Taper
  • "Wow, that's like asking me to choose which of my children is my favorite. But if you twisted my arm, I'd have to say its penetrating critique of state-government cronyism, and my firstborn son, Kevin."

    Steve Mackey
    Unemployed