adBlockCheck

Recent News

Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
End Of Section
  • More News

'Onion' Snubbed By Pulitzers

This year, the Pulitzer Board has once again neglected to bestow an award upon The Onion. What do you think?

  • "You too? Man, those guys are dicks to everybody.”

    Tina Gladstone Systems Analyst
  • "If I know the Pulitzer Board, they are just drawing out the process to heighten the suspense. The Pulitzer Board thrives on adrenaline."

    Brendan Hoppus Train Clerk
  • "Of course they did. The Pulitzer is a prize for third-rate, unrefined journalistic excrement masquerading as enlightened commentary, correct? How else does George Will have one?"

    Frederick Malina Unemployed

More from this section

Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close