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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Online Porn Law Struck Down

Citing First Amendment concerns, Senior U.S. District Judge Lowell Reed Jr. struck down a law that made it illegal for adult-content providers to let children access sexual content. What do you think?
  • "The system works!'

    Leon Crawford Linguistics Professor
  • "If only there were some people around whose job it was to raise these children."

    Cynthia Fielding Paramedic
  • "Now that it's settled the speech issue, perhaps the court can turn its attention to our promise of free ringtones."

    Gavin Meyer Dog Walker
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