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President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.

Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

Tide Debuts New Sour Apple Detergent Pods

CINCINNATI—Calling it the perfect choice for consumers looking to add some tartness to their laundry, Procter and Gamble on Tuesday unveiled a new sour apple Tide detergent pod.

The iPhone Turns 10

A decade ago today, Apple released the iPhone and revolutionized the way humans use technology. Here’s a look back at the evolution of the iPhone:

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.
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Oprah Vs. The Beef Industry

Oprah Winfrey is being sued in Texas court by beef-industry representatives, who claim that remarks she made on a show about mad-cow disease were "false and disparaging," costing them millions of dollars in beef sales. What do you think?
  • "As a fat, uneducated housewife, I am deeply torn between my love of Oprah and my love of beef."

    Bernice Gadsen Homemaker
  • "Because of what Oprah said, I'm not eating beef anymore. I'm also applying blush with the cheekbone."

    Angela Dorner Cashier
  • "I just hope this trial doesn't keep Oprah from telling me what to read this month."

    Chris Kelleher Optometrist
  • "The Beef Council must be very worried about the millions of dollars it would lose if Oprah were to stop buying beef."

    Kevin Ingersoll Student
  • "Today on her show, Oprah was wearing a mauve pullover. Now I hear mauve-pullover futures are going through the roof."

    Roy Brady Systems Analyst
  • "Oprah's guilt in this case is implicit. After all, she has claimed many times that she's every woman."

    Reid Humphries Lawyer

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Listen, Area Boss Gets It

PHILADELPHIA—Readily admitting that everything you’re saying makes a lot of sense, Greenwave Media accounts manager Bryan Mellis confirmed on Wednesday that he totally gets it.

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