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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Optimism Can't Beat Cancer

A recent medical study suggests that your chances of surviving head and neck cancer are the same if you have a positive outlook or a negative outlook. What do you think?
  • "Please don't tell that to my dad. He's been so nice to everyone lately."

    Alexander Rodas Sales Associate
  • "Based on my observations, optimism also can't beat depression."

    Colleen Curtin Store Manager
  • "It must have been great to be in the control group that got all the chemotherapy drugs."

    Will Braverman Systems Analyst
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