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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Oregon Governor On Food Stamps

Gov. Ted Kulongoski of Oregon is living on a budget of a week's worth of food stamps for the state's Hunger Awareness Week. What do you think?
  • "Hopefully someone tipped him off to that deli in Portland that will totally let you use them to buy forties and scratch-offs."

    Jarred Georgeson Tavern Owner
  • "Sounds wonderful! According to my pioneering guide, there is more than enough food in Oregon for the worthy adventurer, from plentiful beavers to succulent ducks!

    Darren Butler Crop Duster
  • "I'd hate to be an Oregonian when it's Transvestite Awareness Week."

    Kristen Stewart Focus Puller
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