Oreos As Addictive As Cocaine Among Rats

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DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Oreos As Addictive As Cocaine Among Rats

A recent study from Connecticut College found that more neurons were activated in the “pleasure center” of lab rats’ brains when they ate Oreos than when they were exposed to morphine or cocaine. What do you think?

  • “I’ve done some things I’m not proud of to hitch a ride on the sweet zebra.”

    Jeff Wetzel
    Electric Razor Assembler
  • “Eating an entire line of Oreos also makes you feel super confident.”

    Rachel McLagen
  • “Just let me get a bite of that Double Stuf and I’ll say whatever you want.”

    Dudley Holland
    Barge Captain