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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Oreos As Addictive As Cocaine Among Rats

A recent study from Connecticut College found that more neurons were activated in the “pleasure center” of lab rats’ brains when they ate Oreos than when they were exposed to morphine or cocaine. What do you think?

  • “I’ve done some things I’m not proud of to hitch a ride on the sweet zebra.”

    Jeff Wetzel Electric Razor Assembler
  • “Eating an entire line of Oreos also makes you feel super confident.”

    Rachel McLagen Escort
  • “Just let me get a bite of that Double Stuf and I’ll say whatever you want.”

    Dudley Holland Barge Captain
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