Organic Food No More Nutritious

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • Father Apologizes For Taking Out Anger On Wrong Son

    ELIZABETH, NJ—Moments after losing his composure with an unwarranted emotional outburst, local father David Kessler reportedly apologized to his son Christopher Thursday for erroneously taking out his anger on him and not his older brother Peter.

Organic Food No More Nutritious

A study by Stanford University researchers found that organic meats and produce did not possess more vitamins or nutrients than their conventional counterparts, casting doubts on the health benefits of organic foods. What do you think?

  • “Personally, I’ll keep shopping at Whole Foods. It’s worth the extra cost to be able to wear my bicycle shorts without being mocked.”

    Daryl Hoss
    Marine Insurance Salesman
  • “That would mean this whole ‘organic’ trend has been yet another cynical marketing ploy, and that’s just not a world I can live in.”

    Chad Cowley
    Sports Announcer
  • “I think these scientists need to go back and check their figures. I paid $4 for this carrot.”

    Rochelle McEveety
    Pigment Blender