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Google Unveils New Larry Page–Driven Car

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA—Touting the project as its most advanced foray yet into the realm of personal transportation, Google unveiled its new Larry Page–driven car at a press event Wednesday.

Trump Outlines Bold Vision For Nation’s Next Mass Protests

WASHINGTON—Stirring the emotions of citizens across the nation with his strong and affecting rhetoric, President Donald Trump outlined a bold vision for the country’s next mass protests during his address to a joint session of Congress Tuesday night.

What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.
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Organic Food No More Nutritious

A study by Stanford University researchers found that organic meats and produce did not possess more vitamins or nutrients than their conventional counterparts, casting doubts on the health benefits of organic foods. What do you think?

  • “Personally, I’ll keep shopping at Whole Foods. It’s worth the extra cost to be able to wear my bicycle shorts without being mocked.”

    Daryl Hoss Marine Insurance Salesman
  • “That would mean this whole ‘organic’ trend has been yet another cynical marketing ploy, and that’s just not a world I can live in.”

    Chad Cowley Sports Announcer
  • “I think these scientists need to go back and check their figures. I paid $4 for this carrot.”

    Rochelle McEveety Pigment Blender
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Trump Outlines Bold Vision For Nation’s Next Mass Protests

WASHINGTON—Stirring the emotions of citizens across the nation with his strong and affecting rhetoric, President Donald Trump outlined a bold vision for the country’s next mass protests during his address to a joint session of Congress Tuesday night.

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