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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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Original Warhol On The Moon?

Columbia University historian and host of the PBS series History Detectives Gwen Wright says that six miniature sketches on ceramic created by the likes of Robert Rauschenberg and Andy Warhol were hidden on board the Apollo 12 lunar lander. What do you think?

  • "Oh, great, another exhibit I bet I get dragged to."

    Rich Offer Rack Loader
  • "Hey, that reminds me of the time I snuck a Superman figurine into my sister's wedding-ring box. Then we put it on the moon."

    Poole Wilson Equipment Specialist
  • "Good! The fewer Warhol paintings on earth, the better."

    Shena Andreioni Team Coordinator

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