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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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Orlando Murder Rate Up

Orlando, Florida, home to Walt Disney World, is on track in 2006 to have the most murders in 24 years. What do you think?
  • "And that's not counting the murders families commit on the road trip there."

    Sydney Freck Yoga Instructor
  • "Disney will have no trouble turning this tale of slaughter and moral decay into a positive. Didn't you see Pocahontas?"

    Molly Green Coat-Check Girl
  • "That's not a huge surprise. Have you seen Epcot lately? That place has really gone to hell since adding Rwanda to the World Showcase."

    Paul Goldstein Fashion Designer

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