Ortega's Return to Nicaragua

In This Section

Vol 42 Issue 45

End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Good Times

Man Considers Nodding Approvingly After Friend’s Drink Purchase

MEQUON, WI—Seeking to convey his endorsement of his acquaintance's selection at local bar Coney's Draft House this evening, area man Thomas Dodge told reporters that he was considering nodding approvingly at his friend’s alcoholic beverage pur...

Energy

Ortega's Return to Nicaragua

Daniel Ortega, the one-time Sandanista leader, was just elected to president of Nicaragua. What do you think?
  • "I'm glad Reagan didn't live to see this. No, wait. I'm just glad he's dead."

    Veronica Keller
    Beautician
  • "I haven't seen him in a while, does he still have the same glasses?"

    Derek Glazer
    Systems Analyst
  • "Well, we're screwed. With those impotent Dems retaking Congress, Ortega back as president, and our military forces committed in Iraq, it's the perfect time for the Sandanista Hordes to make their move."

    Nick Jones
    Jeweler
Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More