adBlockCheck

Recent News

Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.

Most Anticipated Panels At Comic-Con

San Diego Comic-Con kicks off tomorrow, and this year’s schedule is packed with must-see events. Here are the most highly-anticipated panels of Comic-Con 2017.
End Of Section
  • More News

Overhead Bins Grow To Hold Larger Carry-Ons

Several airlines, including Delta, American, and United, are buying new planes with larger overhead bins or retrofitting older planes to accommodate larger carry-on bags. What do you think?

  • "Good. I hate storing my things in another part of the same plane I'm flying on."

    Chris Steadman Systems Analyst
  • "That's great news for customers. Larger carry-ons means more weight on flights, which means greater fuel consumption, which should send ticket prices down, if I'm not mistaken."

    Candice Blythe Mycologist
  • "I'm going to use the extra space to store all my problems, because I'm on vacation!"

    Timothy Locke Flux Mixer

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close