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Overhead Bins Grow To Hold Larger Carry-Ons

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Overhead Bins Grow To Hold Larger Carry-Ons

Several airlines, including Delta, American, and United, are buying new planes with larger overhead bins or retrofitting older planes to accommodate larger carry-on bags. What do you think?

  • "Good. I hate storing my things in another part of the same plane I'm flying on."

    Chris Steadman Systems Analyst
  • "That's great news for customers. Larger carry-ons means more weight on flights, which means greater fuel consumption, which should send ticket prices down, if I'm not mistaken."

    Candice Blythe Mycologist
  • "I'm going to use the extra space to store all my problems, because I'm on vacation!"

    Timothy Locke Flux Mixer

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