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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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Pakistan Bans YouTube

The government of Pakistan has blocked access to YouTube over anti-Islamic clips posted on the video-sharing site. What do you think?
  • "It's a shame that now the only place for Pakistan's amateur filmmakers to post their work is CNN."

    Chris Ricciardi Documentation Clerk
  • "Hopefully there will be a day in which little Pakistani boys and girls can come together with their Western counterparts and watch a video of a horny donkey trying to hump a guy taking a leak in its pasture."

    Janelle Ashland Purification Assistant
  • "I'd expect this kind of fear-mongering behavior from Russia, China, America, France, England, Iran, Japan, Spain, Germany, Venezuela, and Israel. But not Pakistan."

    Blake Barrie Asbestos Abatement Worker
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