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Politics

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.
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Palin Abdicates Gubernatorial Seat

Alaska governor Sarah Palin turned over executive control of the state to Sean Parnell, saying that if she served a lame duck year in the office, it would not benefit anyone. What do you think?
  • “Beautiful, a liar, and a quitter. God, I haven’t been this aroused by the thought of a woman in two years.”

    Charles Mann Bias-Binding Cutter
  • “Nothing can distract her laser focus from the ultimate prize: the Fields Medal.”

    Dawn Pitkin Garment Inspector
  • "With this Sean Parnell guy coming in, at least they won't have to change the initials carved into the caribou-antler throne that has served as the ceremonial seat of Alaskan governors since 1959."

    Pat Wasserstrom Honey Extractor

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Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.

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