adBlockCheck

Politics

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.

What Is Trump’s Relationship With White Nationalism?

Since the weekend’s violent protests in Charlottesville, VA, many have criticized President Trump for his failure to outright condemn the white supremacists involved. The Onion breaks down Trump’s relationship to this powerful hate group.

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Returns To Off-Season Lifeguarding Job

ALEXANDRIA, VA—Saying she hadn’t missed a summer since she was on the U.S. Court of Appeals, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg said Tuesday that she had once again returned to her off-season lifeguarding job at Splash Central waterpark.

President’s American Manufacturing Council Down To CEO Of Shoe Carnival

WASHINGTON—Following a series of resignations from prominent CEOs amid the fallout from President Trump’s handling of white-nationalist violence in Charlottesville, VA, White House sources confirmed Tuesday that Trump’s American Manufacturing Council is now down to a single member, Clifton Sifford, CEO and president of Shoe Carnival.
End Of Section
  • More News

Palin Meets First Foreign Leaders

Vice presidential candidate Gov. Sarah Palin met with a series of world leaders as a sort of crash course on foreign policy. What do you think?
  • "Wow, she's a lot better at meeting people than I expected."

    Johnny Moreland Hotel Clerk
  • "All she needs to do is make a simple mnemonic device for remembering each country, its form of government, its gross domestic product, its military history, its relationship to the United States, and what it's best known for."

    Kevin Freamon Tour Guide
  • "This should allay voters' concerns about electing a candidate with no experience being photographed with foreign leaders."

    Karla Greggs Rock Climbing Teacher

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close