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Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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Panama Papers Reveal Widespread Tax Evasion

Over 11.5 million leaked files dubbed the “Panama Papers” reveal that the world’s wealthy elites are hiding money in offshore accounts to evade taxation, a leak that implicates the prime minister of Iceland, the president of Ukraine, and Vladimir Putin, among others. What do you think?

  • “You always hear rumors about shady offshore dealings, but never in my worst dreams did I suspect Sigmundur Gunnlaugsson was involved.”

    Ray Whelan Ringtone Composer
  • “They should be proud of their wealth instead of feeling like they need to hide it halfway around the globe!”

    Grant Ebelhofer Regulations Officer
  • “I trust that the world’s most powerful leaders will punish themselves accordingly.”

    Joy Beckler Jingle Approver

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Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.

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