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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Papal Conclave Begins At Vatican

The Vatican’s College of Cardinals convened the papal conclave today, beginning the process of selecting the Roman Catholic Church’s 266th pope. What do you think?

  • “To be honest, I was pretty disappointed by the first 265 popes. But I have a really good feeling about this one.”

    Martin Garr Disc Jockey
  • “Conclaves are a sham, man. Everyone knows that corporations choose the pope.”

    Elizabeth Sutton Dog Breeder
  • “Can you imagine spending hours and hours in a room with those old guys just talking pope stuff all day? So awesome.”

    Conrad Osgood Beekeeper
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