Paper Proposes One-Way Trips To Mars

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Vol 46 Issue 52

New Social Networking Site Changing The Way Oh, Christ, Forget It

NEW YORK—While millions of young, tech-savvy professionals already use services like Facebook and Twitter to keep in constant touch with friends, a new social networking platform called Foursquare has recently taken the oh, fucking hell, can't some other desperate news outlet cover this crap instead?
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Paper Proposes One-Way Trips To Mars

An article in the Journal Of Cosmology suggests that in order to make a manned flight to Mars an affordable reality in the near future, plans should not include a return trip. What do you think?

  • "Of course! Russia saved billions by using the same strategy for its submarine program."

    Sharron Bentler
    Receptionist
  • "They ought to send my wife! You see, she’s an astronaut, and it’s always been her dream to go to Mars."

    Darryl Morejon
    Systems Analyst
  • "Have all current and former members of Kiss been contacted about this exciting opportunity to advance science and the human race?"

    Dale Gibson
    Unemployed
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