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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Paper Proposes One-Way Trips To Mars

An article in the Journal Of Cosmology suggests that in order to make a manned flight to Mars an affordable reality in the near future, plans should not include a return trip. What do you think?

  • "Of course! Russia saved billions by using the same strategy for its submarine program."

    Sharron Bentler Receptionist
  • "They ought to send my wife! You see, she’s an astronaut, and it’s always been her dream to go to Mars."

    Darryl Morejon Systems Analyst
  • "Have all current and former members of Kiss been contacted about this exciting opportunity to advance science and the human race?"

    Dale Gibson Unemployed
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