adBlockCheck

Recent News

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.

Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
End Of Section
  • More News

Parental Drinking Supervision Doesn't Work

A new study concludes that teens who drink with parental approval and supervision have a higher risk of becoming problem drinkers than those who wait until they're 21. What do you think?

  • “Like I’m going to let the public school system indoctrinate my kid against our household’s preferred brand of vodka.”

    Raoul Williams Handle Maker
  • "Fine, no more alcohol. But I'll really have to step up my shockingly open flirtation with my son's friends if I'm going to retain my 'cool mom' status."

    Dixie Yennie Benefits Manager
  • "Come on, man, my kids aren't even fun unless they're a little drunk."

    Carson Kitamura Rabble-Furnace Tender

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close