Parents Against Swine Flu Vaccine

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Kids Excited Mom Learning To Swear

PESHTIGO, WI—After a lifetime of assiduously avoiding the use of foul language, Helen Chernak, 59, is finally learning to swear, her delighted offspring reported Monday.

Parents Of Crying Child Must Not Be Any Good

WOODBURY, MN—Noting how the pair’s failure to promptly resolve the situation was a clear indication of their inability to raise or care for another human being, sources confirmed Friday that the parents of a crying infant must not be any good.

A Look At The Class Of 2020

This year’s incoming college freshmen will comprise the graduating class of 2020, with the majority of them born in 1998. Here are some facts and figures about these students and their worldview:

‘Rugrats’ Turns 25

This August marks the 25th anniversary of the premiere of Rugrats, the beloved Nickelodeon cartoon about intrepid baby Tommy Pickles and his group of toddler friends. Here are some milestones from the show’s nine-season run
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Parents Against Swine Flu Vaccine

An Associated Press poll shows that 38 percent of all parents do not want their children vaccinated against the H1N1 virus, or swine flu. What do you think?
  • "I would refuse to let my child have the flu vaccine if he hadn't died of measles earlier this year."

    Deb Hawley Systems Analyst
  • "If there's a cure, my son won't feel threatened every time I held up this fake vial of the virus. How else am I supposed to get him to do chores?"

    Harvey Enkler Cocktail Lounge Manager
  • "All right, you got me! I don't love my kids."

    Orlando Griffin Sand Caster

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