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Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
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Parents Paying Professionals To Pack Kids’ Summer Camp Bags

To reduce the stress of getting kids ready for summer camp, parents in New York City are reportedly paying professional organizing companies up to $250 per hour to pack their children’s bags with high-quality sheets, fancy soaps, and other supplies. What do you think?

  • “But the point of summer camp is learning to discriminate based on popularity and athletic prowess, not wealth.”

    Harry Chapman Systems Analyst
  • “Yeah, it’s probably better for everyone if these particular parents don’t have too much direct contact with their kids.”

    Gabe Lehrman Carbon Dating Technician
  • “With unforeseen expenses like this popping up, no wonder it costs so much to raise a kid these days.”

    Jennifer Balch Vase Seller

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