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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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Parents Paying Professionals To Pack Kids’ Summer Camp Bags

To reduce the stress of getting kids ready for summer camp, parents in New York City are reportedly paying professional organizing companies up to $250 per hour to pack their children’s bags with high-quality sheets, fancy soaps, and other supplies. What do you think?

  • “But the point of summer camp is learning to discriminate based on popularity and athletic prowess, not wealth.”

    Harry Chapman Systems Analyst
  • “Yeah, it’s probably better for everyone if these particular parents don’t have too much direct contact with their kids.”

    Gabe Lehrman Carbon Dating Technician
  • “With unforeseen expenses like this popping up, no wonder it costs so much to raise a kid these days.”

    Jennifer Balch Vase Seller

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