Parents Urged To Suck Infants' Pacifiers To Prevent Allergies

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Vol 49 Issue 19

Dog Owners Have Healthier Hearts

The American Heart Association officially announced that people who owned pets, particularly dogs, appeared to have a reduced risk of heart disease and had better survival rates than those without pets.

New to the market!

Lovely two-bedroom, one-bath condo, carefully renovated to retain the intoxicating scent of previous tenant Lisa.

Man Does Good Job Getting Drunk

ETNA, PA—Moments after watching him finish his fifth alcoholic beverage at the Crow’s Nest Bar and Grill Thursday night, sources reported local man Chris Serna, 32, had completed the task of getting drunk with a high degree of efficiency and s...
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Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Parents Urged To Suck Infants' Pacifiers To Prevent Allergies

A study found that parents could help prevent allergies in their infants by sucking on their children’s pacifiers before returning them to the kids, thereby introducing them to a variety of oral bacteria and aiding their immune system development. What do you think?

  • “Owning a baby just keeps getting grosser and grosser.”

    Alexander Bonnet
    Unemployed
  • “It’s been quite a while since I’ve sucked on a pacifier. But not quite as long as you might hope.”

    Aurora Roland
    Silhouette Artist
  • “I don’t love my kid that much.”

    Werner Schafer
    Engine Assembler
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