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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.
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Paris And Los Angeles To Host 2024, 2028 Olympics

Although it’s still unknown which city will host which year, the International Olympic Committee has designated Paris and Los Angeles as the next two Summer Olympics hosts. What do you think?

  • “Hosting the Olympics may be expensive, but how else do you get people interested in checking out a city like Paris?”

    Sarah Garlock Automotive Scrapper
  • “If they’re looking to save money on stadiums, I’ve got a buddy in Rio trying to unload a couple of lightly used ones.”

    Geoff Sutherland Shoe Sizer
  • “Man, and I still don’t even know what I’m doing this weekend.”

    Daniel Arancio Balm Enthusiast

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