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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Patrick Duffy’s Ideal Role

What role do you think Patrick Duffy would be best suited for?
  • "I think he should play the lone survivor of an aquatic race who uses his special powers to aid the government. He already played one? Well, then how about the patriarch of a blended family? Really? Wow. This guy is good."

    Donald Zagoras Marine Recruiter
  • “Does one instruct Beethoven on which key is most pleasing or tell Picasso what colors are fairest? No. One simply admires a virtuoso at work.”

    Felix Tunnison Drywaller
  • "Anything where he gets to smile."

    Mary Nahn Museum Curator

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