Patriot Act Renewed

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Special Coverage

Protection

  • Guards Gun Down Four Angels Escaping From Heaven

    THE HEAVENS—Killing four and critically wounding several others, armed guards dispatched from the Right Hand of God reportedly opened fire early Monday morning on a group of angels attempting to escape from heaven. One of the Eternal Kingdom’s...

House and Home

  • Report: Dad Wants To Show You Where Fuse Box Is

    YOUR LOCATION—Noting that it’s important to be prepared in case of emergencies but it’s also a good thing to know in general, your dad announced today that he wants to show you where the fuse box is.

Patriot Act Renewed

The House and Senate have reached a deal to re-authorize the Patriot Act. What do you think?
  • "Dammit! I'm never going to be able to check that falafel cookbook out of the library."

    Bill Parker
    Metal Fabricator
  • "It's about time they did something to stop all the out-of-control patriotism in this country."

    Mary Alice Cornog
    Beekeeper
  • "I'd really like to tell this damn government what I think, but thanks to the Patriot Act, they already know."

    Matt Morreti
    Zoologist